So... a bunch of white collared crackers pulled up in a black SUV and hustled me into the back without saying a fucking word. i wasn't frightened, for i always imagined it would be men with long white jackets and a station wagon come to take me away, so i figured what the hells up with the suits and ties and dark glasses, yeah thats right, they looked just like you'd imagine Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones to look like except without the good humor, or great haircuts either, but i digress...
so they bring me back to a nondescript building in brooklyn somewhere. i can only guess brooklyn, cause the motherfuckers put a hood over my head, so i couldn't see, but the ride lasted less than ten minutes, and it didn't feel like we drove over any bridges, but who knows. lifes confusing when you've got a hood over your head, and no one one will answer any of your muffled questions, and one dude keeps poking you in the ribs when you make comments about how he keeps farting and someone should put a hood over his ass, and no one will change the radio station from the oldies station; don't get me wrong, i like motown as much as the next guy, but its creepy to hear the Supremes in an SUV full of guys not saying a word and you can't see shit.
i'm eventually led down sets and sets and sets and sets and sets, i feel like i walked down stairs for almost as long as we were driving, and down more stairs into this musty dank hallway that reeks of marijuana for some reason, but when i again muffle-ask whats up with that i get poked in the kidney this time with a knuckle. wtf. that shit hurts for sure. i'm disoriented, but can hear this fuck sniggering when he sees me flinch after poking me. i turn real quick and kick this guy square in the balls. bam! fucking batman style! take that robin! then i put my head down and bull-rush the cunt, cause i'll give it to him, he didn't go down at first, just kinda hunched foward enough for our skulls to make solid contact. thank god i had my hood to somewhat deaden the concussion, but man was that painful! staggered for a second, then ended up running into a wall, thinking it was the doorway and falling down, that about did it for me. i was easily subdued and given a mighty thrashing by i assume pokey-the-jerk.
eventually i wake up. not sure how long has passed, maybe days, maybe weeks, maybe...prob a few hours by the feel of it, but i am in a windowless room 4 feet wide by like 5 feet, cause i can't even lay down all the way, but atleast i don't have a fucking hood on my head anymore, and its dark and kinda frightening, but luckily the single door is opened soon after i wake and light floods the interior of my shit hole. i say that only because instead of a bunk or latrine or anything else for that matter, there's just a hole in one corner of the room. and i had wondered how my foot got all wet...eeuch. anyways, same kinda dude picks me up threateningly, and walks me down a bright hallway then down another hallway, then down this weird long long hallway that has no other corridors off it, we're talking long like the stairwell almost, and all i can think is that this seems like a ridiculous fire hazard for anyone on this side of the abandoned hallway, but the room only holds like five people comfortably on wooden chairs, perhaps a frat house could fit three to four times that many people in here, but in any case they'd have to bring their own chairs since there's only 3 in this room, and two are occupied by guys in suits, and here's the kicker- the other chair is obviously broken. i mean, i can see the leg falling off, and these cats are just giving me these cold stares and one makes that "sit down in the chair" motion with his hand, but i just stand there cause really what else do you do? i stare and they just stare, no one says anything. i ask questions but get only the sit-down gesture. i make subtle "fuck you" motions with my eyes, but i don't know if they get it, but finally i get bored of this nonsense after like forty minutes and go to sit down. the fucking chair leg snaps, just like i figured it would but i'm prepared, and i almost catch myself until the arm of the chair comes off also, which i didn't see coming. whomp. on my ass i go. the door opens, same guy that brought me down to this retard room picks me up again and escorts me back down this mile long corridor without anyone have even saying a word to me.
this happens every day for a week. i don't even get any food when i'm in that black abyss of a hole where they keep me, just water that doesn't even come from a bottle. i don't get what the fuck this room is about. i try sitting and breaking the chair immediately once and get escorted away. i stand still for hours. i literally fall asleep on my feet and tip over, i don't even break the chair, but dude takes me away anyhow. i try talking. i try staying silent. nothing, no words from these suits, but a little giggle or snicker when the chair inevitably breaks. i try picking the chair up but half falls apart, while half seems to be bolted to the floor. the last day i manage to get a sizable chunk in my hands and go ballistic, jumping on the table these guys are sitting at swinging madly until from behind, i'm tazed i think. i don't remember the walk back down the hall that day, but wake up back in my cell, and at some point the door is opened. i'm led down a different normal sized hallway where theres a plate of dinner or lunch or whatever for me, and i eat it with relish and a side of greed.
after i finish my meal, i'm given a pair of brown pants and a white shirt, and am told to walk this way, as Steven Tyler so blithely put it. i'm escorted to a huge storage room packed floor to ceiling in some places, and this room is a few stories high i judge, and as i walk further in, see that there are letters and envelopes spilling out of these boxes onto the floor. thousands. millions probably. i'm told i must reply to these letters and i laugh, but the stoic looks i receive soon lets me know that they're really not kidding. they turn and walk out after dropping a pen on the floor and close the only door i can see as i look about. there is a single school desk in this huge room surrounded by what i come to discover are children's letters to god and santa clause, alternately one or the other, but more santa than god for the most part. i read many, but reply to none that first day. the box labeled "out" on the desk is empty. hours must go by, but strangely enough by this time i think i had stopped wondering and worrying about time. how long its been, or what time it is, or how long its been since i've heard a voice other than my own. eventually i'm brought a tray of food, but its summarily dropped on the floor with a look of dismay, and the empty "out" box is pointed at with a sadder than needed frown. he turns, closes the door, and i figure, fuck you, i'm hungry, and eat it anyways. weeks go by like this, and soon i'm turning out hundreds of terse replies like, "i believe in you too, timmy," or "i'm also sorry they're dead, but even santa can't bring her back. All the best, god." i wonder if they read, or even spell check my letterz, but after a while only one thing occupies my mind.
the whole time i was in there i'm wondering where people think i am. i mean, its the x mas season and all, people go on vacation but c'mon, i've been gone for weeks. jesus. good thing i took matters into my own hands and discovered a way out. i finally wriggled into an air shaft that i found bolted to the ceiling near the top of a god-stack. i pried that bitch off, fit myself inside and began slinking ever upward until eons later, i could smell the sweet stench of freedom. stench of freedom indeed. i came out into a gooey runoff that i can only hope wasn't what i thought it was, but then i found a man hole cover and popped out like a rabbit from a hat, running with all my might down an alley then down Hoyt St, then more running until i jumped onto the G train at Bergen. I got on the subway, and now here i am. i am here. i don't know how long i have, so i figure just put this down as quick as possible, add some flashy pictures and then blow town forever. new name, identity and phone number. so long, suckers
just a perfect day. drank sangria in the park. then later, when it gets dark, we go home. just a perfect day. feed animals in the zoo. then later a movie too, then home. oh, its such a perfect day, i'm glad i spent it with you. oh such a perfect day, you just keep me, hanging on. you just keep me, hanging on. just a perfect day, problems all left alone. weekenders on our own, its such fun. just a perfect day. you made me forget myself. i thought i was, someone else, some one good. oh its such a perfect day. i'm glad i spent it with you. oh, such a perfect day. you just keep me hanging on. you just keep me, hanging on. you're going to reap, just what you sow. you're going to reap, just what you sow. you're going to reap, just what you sow. you're going to reap just what you sow.
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